Wednesday, January 6, 2010

What You See in Here, Stays in Here

I saw a sign inside a hockey dressing room that read "What you see in here, stays in here." Survivors live by that same rule. As a sexual abuse and domestic violence survivor, I know that keeping secrets only helps abusers. I don't expect you to keep what you read here to yourself. If there is anyone in your life who you even suspect may identify with my story, please send them this address:

There will always be someone to tell us to quiet down; to tell us we’re singing off key or that we don’t know the words; to quit showing off or keep our voices down; a neighbor to bang on their ceiling or complain to the landlord; or someone to let us know which things we should and should not talk about.

I have never understood who put those people in charge.

I had a friend in high school who could match me word for word in being loud and obnoxious. She was off key, off the wall and out of this world wonderful. She was the first person I told about being abused. We met in ninth grade even though we had gone to the same school for years. Our locker assignment pushed us together but within a week or two, I found myself telling her things that I had never before considered sharing.

What if she had told me to shut up?

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